Understand.

So, instead of sleeping, I have ended up looking through my folders, finding old files. I just found one that contained a few computer-diary entries (crazy flashbacks, maaan!) and two documents, titled "Understand" and "Words". Pretty vague as far as titles go, but I like playing with titles. Guess I always have. These were written July 21st of 2008. I wanted to share them with you; whoever you are. There are a few minor wording edits in Understand, but Words and most of Understand remain unchanged.

Understand is just a general musing piece. I wanted to write something. Words is a poem (mind, you I am not a poet. If you're looking for a professional, well-crafted poem, sorry; look elsewhere). It was an interesting one to write, because it is, ironically enough, about itself.

Sucky part: since Word is an absolute poop-face, I had to screen-shot the files and record me saying them on my computer, then slowly but surely type them here.

What poop-facery.

Understand

Life is seeking to understand. Wanting, needing to be able to appreciate the good and abhor the bad, because one understands good and bad, and recognizes them when they exist in such a way as to be seen by one. There is an innate curiosity in each of us that feeds on information, that thrives on detail and knowledge. And when that hunger is satisfied, it is thirsty for understanding. And it is an amazing, almost indescribable, feeling, the moment something clicks; when suddenly, everything clouding your mind and your emotions clears. The fog in your head drifts, moved quickly away by the powerful essence of understanding.

The human race has put itself in the disgusting trouble it is in by rarely seeking to understand. It just wants to know things. Most humans do not conjure thoughts deeper than that basic knowledge often enough for them to need to have their fog cleared, or rather, to clear it themselves; to be mentally fulfilled. They are content simply with knowing what they must know to survive, or to improve their lives in nothing but a shallow manner.

But I am not content with only that. I seek to understand that which I currently do not, and to understand more deeply that which I think I do. I love, crave, need to understand.

I understand.

I am alive.

Words

Tumbling, falling, and hurried

Worried, alone, and afraid

They trip over my thoughts

And press through my brain

They race through my mind

To my heart, through my veins

They spread to my fingers

And flow quickly out

Relinquished at last

I am free

There's no doubt